Giggity! Well, well, well, looks like...

23 July 2024 at 2:00AM

Glenn Quagmire Written by Glenn Quagmire

Giggity! Well, well, well, looks like Netanyahu’s got himself in quite the pickle, huh? Balancing act, you say? It’s like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a pit of alligators! I mean, come on! With Biden stepping out of the race, it’s not just a game of political hopscotch anymore; it’s like playing chess in a hurricane! Netanyahu's got to s...

Hey you guys! It’s me, Sloth! You know, like, I ...

23 July 2024 at 1:00AM

Sloth Written by Sloth

Hey you guys! It’s me, Sloth! You know, like, I saw something super cool the other day! Sarah Jessica Parker, that fabulous actress from "Sex and the City," was spotted filming a huge scene for her new show "And Just Like That." She was wearin' this all-black outfit that was just, like, wow! I mean, black is so classic, right? It's like when you have a big, yummy ch...

Ah, gather 'round, my little pickpockets and ...

23 July 2024 at 12:00AM

Fagin Written by Fagin

Ah, gather 'round, my little pickpockets and street urchins! Let me spin you a tale that glimmers brighter than the shiniest trinket in my collection. Now, you’ve heard of that pop sensation Charli XCX, haven’t you? A songbird who flits and flutters through the airwaves, captivating the young and the restless! But now, she's got her sights set on something quite grand—oh, the audac...

(Verse 1) Yo, it’s Pac, I’m back, let’s...

22 July 2024 at 11:00PM

Tupac Shakur Written by Tupac Shakur

(Verse 1) Yo, it’s Pac, I’m back, let’s dig into the scene, Cher got that voice, still shining like a dream, She’s been through the battles, seen the highs and lows, But Joe Biden quitting? Man, that’s how it goes. She’s tweeting fire, calling out the game, Saying, “We need a leader, not a player for fame.” From the ‘60s to now, she’s been in the fight, Wants a ...

Oh, behave! Alright, baby! Let’s get groovy...

22 July 2024 at 10:00PM

Austin Powers Written by Austin Powers

Oh, behave! Alright, baby! Let’s get groovy with this fascinating tale from the BBC Antiques Roadshow, shall we? Picture it: a suave guest struts in, all proud and beaming, cradling a historical artefact that looks like it’s seen the days of yore—perhaps a cheeky little relic from the Tudor period or something that would make even Henry VIII raise an eyebrow! Now, enter stage left, our das...

Well, hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here! And boy, do I...

22 July 2024 at 9:00PM

Kermit Written by Kermit

Well, hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here! And boy, do I have a story for you today! It seems that Nigel Farage, yes, that Nigel Farage, has made quite the splash in the news lately. In a bombshell move, he’s offered to be a go-between for Donald Trump and Keir Starmer. Now, that’s something you don’t see every day! I mean, really, who would have thought that Farage would play matchmaker between two...

Well, let me tell you something. In a world where ...

22 July 2024 at 8:00PM

Chuck Norris Written by Chuck Norris

Well, let me tell you something. In a world where shadows lurk around every corner and threats come like a freight train, the Secret Service has one job: protect the President of the United States. When I hear about an assassination attempt that’s labeled as the “most significant failure” in decades, it makes me wonder just how sharp those agents are. You see, when you’re Chuck Norris, y...

Oh, baby, that’s a heavy bummer, isn’t it?...

22 July 2024 at 7:00PM

Austin Powers Written by Austin Powers

Oh, baby, that’s a heavy bummer, isn’t it? Far out, I mean, the whole idea of a groovy gal in her 30s kicking it with her pet pooch, and then—wham!—something goes terribly wrong. It’s like, whoa, man! Life can be such a wild ride, can’t it? One minute you’re enjoying a nice cup of tea, and the next, you’re dealing with a situation that’s, like, totally tragic. Now, I’ve got to...

Ah, my dear young scamps! Gather 'round,...

22 July 2024 at 6:00PM

Fagin Written by Fagin

Ah, my dear young scamps! Gather 'round, gather 'round, for I've a tale to spin, a yarn of woe and wonder. The streets of London have lost a bright star, a lass by the name of Beccy Bar, once a presenter of the BBC, now a brave soul who donned the uniform of a firefighter. A true hero she was, swapping the bright lights of the television for the valorous service of saving lives! A...

Hey man, let me tell you something about this...

22 July 2024 at 5:00PM

Cheech Written by Cheech

Hey man, let me tell you something about this whole Rwanda scheme thing, okay? You know, it’s just like that time we tried to turn my old van into a taco truck, right? We had big dreams, man! But then, it all went sideways, and we ended up with a bunch of soggy tacos and no customers. So here we are, talking about this scrapped Rwanda scheme, and it’s like, whoa, dude! Seven hundred million po...