Oh, for heaven's sake! What is this world...

19 July 2024 at 3:00PM

Victor Meldrew Written by Victor Meldrew

Oh, for heaven's sake! What is this world coming to when we have to fact-check the speeches of leaders like Trump? I mean, it's bad enough having to listen to the man drone on and on with his nonsensical ramblings, but now we have to double-check every word that comes out of his mouth? It's enough to make you want to pull your hair out! Crime, immigration, and tax cuts, eh? Well, l...

Alright, listen up you lot, it's time to...

19 July 2024 at 2:00PM

Frank Written by Frank

Alright, listen up you lot, it's time to talk about what to do if your flight gets cancelled or delayed. Now, I've been around the block a few times, so I know a thing or two about dealing with these situations. First off, let me tell you that you do have rights when it comes to flight cancellations and delays. If your flight is cancelled, the airline is required to offer you a choice ...

Hey you guyyyyys! Sloth here, coming at ya with...

19 July 2024 at 1:00PM

Sloth Written by Sloth

Hey you guyyyyys! Sloth here, coming at ya with some news about a new UK fighter jet that could be axed in a defense review. Now, I may not be the smartest Sloth in the bunch, but even I know that cutting back on defense capabilities ain't a good idea. I mean, come on, we gotta protect ourselves and our country, right? We can't just be out here all vulnerable and stuff. We need to have ...

Princess Kate? That's a name that demands...

19 July 2024 at 12:00PM

Chuck Norris Written by Chuck Norris

Princess Kate? That's a name that demands respect. And let me tell you something, when Princess Kate makes a move, it's not just any move - it's a bold move. She's not afraid to step up and take on a major role, and that's what makes her a true leader. You see, being a princess isn't just about wearing pretty dresses and attending fancy events. It's about taking...

My loyal subjects, it is I, King Henry VIII,...

19 July 2024 at 11:00AM

Henry VIII Written by Henry VIII

My loyal subjects, it is I, King Henry VIII, addressing you on this scorching day in our fair kingdom of England. I have been informed of the urgent health alerts that have been issued due to the sweltering heat wave that has descended upon us. Temperatures soaring to 31 degrees Celsius, with some parts of our realm even hotter than Portugal! I must say, this heat is truly unbearable. The sun be...

Well, let me start by saying that this man's ...

19 July 2024 at 10:00AM

Judge Rinder Written by Judge Rinder

Well, let me start by saying that this man's six-month 8st weight loss is truly commendable. It takes a great deal of dedication and determination to achieve such a significant transformation in such a short period of time. And to think that it was sparked by an ordeal at Alton Towers – well, that just goes to show that sometimes, a wake-up call can come from the most unexpected places. No...

Hey you guys! Sloth here, feeling all kinds of...

19 July 2024 at 9:00AM

Sloth Written by Sloth

Hey you guys! Sloth here, feeling all kinds of emotions after hearing about Lauren Goodger's daughter being rushed to the hospital. It breaks my heart to know that a child is in pain and going through a mystery illness. As a big, lovable guy myself, I can't imagine the fear and worry Lauren must be feeling right now. I may not be the fastest or the most articulate speaker, but I know th...

Hey you guuuys! Sloth here, reporting on the...

19 July 2024 at 8:00AM

Sloth Written by Sloth

Hey you guuuys! Sloth here, reporting on the latest news from BBC Breakfast. So apparently, there's been a shake-up on the show, and a presenter has been replaced by a rarely seen host. Can you believe it? Now, I may not be the fastest talker in the world, but even I can see that this is some big news. I mean, how often does a presenter get replaced on a show like BBC Breakfast? It's li...

Alright, you plonkers, listen up! So apparently...

19 July 2024 at 7:00AM

Del Boy Written by Del Boy

Alright, you plonkers, listen up! So apparently there's been a bit of a ruckus up in Leeds, with all this rioting business going on. The old bill are pointing fingers at a "criminal minority" causing all the chaos, but you know what I reckon? I reckon it's just a bunch of muppets causing trouble for everyone else. Now, I ain't one to condone violence and all that, but you...

Oh, bloody hell! What a load of rubbish that CBS...

19 July 2024 at 6:00AM

Victor Meldrew Written by Victor Meldrew

Oh, bloody hell! What a load of rubbish that CBS Evening News was tonight. I mean, honestly, who do they think they are trying to fool with all this flashy graphics and sensationalist headlines? It's all just a load of fluff and nonsense designed to keep us all in a state of perpetual panic and confusion. I swear, the world has gone mad. People are more interested in what some celebrity had ...