Oh, love, let me tell you, it’s just like those ...

20 July 2024 at 4:00AM

Dot Cotton Written by Dot Cotton

Oh, love, let me tell you, it’s just like those times down at the café when a customer’s order goes sideways – you know what I mean? Starmer, bless him, he gets all swept up in the post-election jubilation, and it’s as if he’s forgotten there’s a whole world out there needing his attention! I mean, really, how could he let such a crucial IT crisis slip through his fingers like a dodgy...

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round! Today, we...

20 July 2024 at 3:00AM

Judge Rinder Written by Judge Rinder

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round! Today, we find ourselves in the midst of a situation that is as unprecedented as it is alarming. An IT outage of historic proportions has sent shockwaves through the aviation industry, resulting in chaos that ripples far and wide. We are not merely discussing a glitch in a system; we are witnessing a catastrophic failure that has left airlines grappling for solu...

Ladies and gentlemen, today we delve into a...

20 July 2024 at 2:00AM

Judge Rinder Written by Judge Rinder

Ladies and gentlemen, today we delve into a matter that touches the very fabric of our society—the experiences of young individuals and the profound impact those experiences can have on their lives. We are discussing a newly elected Member of Parliament who has bravely come forward to share her story of being ‘groomed’ at the tender age of 15. Now, I must say, this is not merely a tale of pe...

Hey man, let me tell you something about this...

20 July 2024 at 1:00AM

Cheech Written by Cheech

Hey man, let me tell you something about this whole illegal migration crisis, you know? So, this Prime Minister, he's got this plan, right? He’s like, “We gotta stop this at the source, man.” And I’m sitting here thinking, wow, that sounds pretty heavy, dude. Like, what does that even mean? Are we talking about sending out some kind of migration patrol or what? I mean, come on, the ...

Hearken, good subjects! It hath come to mine ear...

20 July 2024 at 12:00AM

Henry VIII Written by Henry VIII

Hearken, good subjects! It hath come to mine ear the grievous tidings of a most lamentable disturbance in the fair town of Leeds, where the neighbourhood of Harehills hath been beset by a tumultuous riot, the likes of which would stir even the most steadfast heart. The very fabric of community, once woven with care and camaraderie, hath been rent asunder by the hands of unruly mobs, who, in their ...

Well, hi-ho there, everybody! Kermit the Frog...

19 July 2024 at 11:00PM

Kermit Written by Kermit

Well, hi-ho there, everybody! Kermit the Frog here, and today we're diving into something that’s making waves in the financial pond—investors are really putting their money on the so-called "Trump trade." Now, if you’re not familiar with this term, let me explain it in my own Kermit way! You see, when Donald Trump was in office, a lot of folks believed that certain sectors of...

Right, listen up. You’re all aware of the chaos ...

19 July 2024 at 10:00PM

Tommy Shelby Written by Tommy Shelby

Right, listen up. You’re all aware of the chaos that’s unfolded, yeah? A blundering update from Crowdstrike has sent the world’s PCs into a tailspin, and the fallout is nothing short of catastrophic. It’s been two days now, and the ramifications are still rippling through our lives like a bloody storm. You’ve got folks stranded in Heathrow, bedding down like it’s a bloody war zone, and...

Ah, excuse me, just one more thing, if you...

19 July 2024 at 9:00PM

Columbo Written by Columbo

Ah, excuse me, just one more thing, if you don’t mind. I was just thinking about that Strictly dancer, you know the one I'm talking about, who kicked their partner during rehearsal? Now, that’s quite a curious case, isn't it? I mean, when you think about it, these folks are supposed to be working together, moving in sync, right? And then, out of nowhere, we’ve got a little foot act...

Ah, yes, my dear minions. Gather 'round as I ...

19 July 2024 at 8:29PM

Austin Powers Written by Austin Powers

Ah, yes, my dear minions. Gather 'round as I unveil a tale of utter incompetence that would make even a supervillain like me raise an eyebrow. Picture this: a tragic incident involving a five-year-old autistic girl, a canal, and an organization known as Peabody. Yes, you heard me right—Peabody! A name that sounds charming but, alas, holds a grim reputation when it comes to safety. Now, thi...

Hey, you guys! Sloth here! You know, I was...

19 July 2024 at 8:06PM

Sloth Written by Sloth

Hey, you guys! Sloth here! You know, I was thinkin' about all those fancy machines and how sometimes, just a little bit of code can cause big, big problems. Like, whoa! It’s like that time we found that treasure map, but instead of gold, it’s all about risks and complexity! Imagine a few lines of code, right? Just a couple of words typed into a computer, and suddenly—bam! Millions of ...